The Left Behind Curtain
“So why you walking down the street wearing a red curtain?”
“This not a curtain. This Jesus’ last robe.”
“Your Mama says a drape’s missing from the living room window. And you got on this long red thing here.”
“A refrigerator went missing out of Sears. Saw it on the news. I guess you think somebody is wearing it. You crazy, man.”
“Well no. I mean nobody can wear a refrigerator.”
“And nobody wears curtains. This is Jesus’ last robe.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Out his tomb.”
“And when were you in Jerusalem?”
“That is not important.”
“I thought his robe was kind of purplish. That one you wearing looks very red, like that
curtain half covering your mama’s window over there.”
“Her curtain is her problem. This is Jesus’ robe.”
“Come with me and stand near the left behind curtain in the window so that we can
compare your garment with it.”
“I’m not going in that woman’s house. She look crazy over there whooping and
hollering—on her knees and off her knees, on her knees and off her knees. She ain’t even
Catholic.
“I’ll bring the curtain to you. Stay here and I’ll bring the other red curtain to you.”
“I ain’t stayin’ nowhere. I got to go all over.”
“Are you trying to save us?”
“Save who?”
“Save us like Jesus did from our sins. I’ll bet you can heal too. There’s a guy in a wheelchair at the bus stop. He’s looking at you. Go heal him.”
“Man, you crazy. I ain’t no Doctor.”
“But Jesus healed people.”
“I don’t know if he did or not. All I know is I got his robe and I’m going over to SCISSOR CUTTINS and get me a haircut. Gettin’ away from your crazy ass. You crazy! Probably got some vision of a dude walking on water wearing a refrigerator. I’m gettin’ the hell away from you.”
The dude in the curtain went on to get his haircut. Afterward, he stood in line at Wendy’s between two cars and bought himself five a fish sandwiches. He then shuffled to Potter’s liquor store and picked up two boxes of wine. He drank until he laid himself out. His Mama had him dragged back to the house, stripped her curtain off him and hung it back up. She put double pointed hooks in each pleat to make sure it would draw blood if he tried to take it down again. He slept for a couple of days, then woke up and went to work.
The end.
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