Saturday, October 27, 2012

An Interview with Madd and Dog2020

Christmas in Linken Park Chicago

We interviewed the Dozen’s Players Madd and Dog2020 better known as Maddog 2020 aka MD2020 to learn more about this unique version of the classic Dickens A Christmas Carol.  We found them in a quiet cafe in the Bottoms on Rome Avenue away from the hustle and bustle of 125th Street and Obama Avenue.

We: It’s so nice to meet you two colorful characters.

MD2020: It would have been nicer to meet you if you had been Oprah. Our Agent said we was going to be on Oprah!

We: Well she couldn’t make it.

MD2020:  That’s all right. You got an Oprah sized check in your pocket?

We: I’m paying for dinner.

MD2020: In this greasy spoon dinner ain’t but five bucks all you can eat. Look a here, this chicken wing still got the feathers on it.

We: (Laughs) So tell our readers why The Bottoms is such a unique Christmas tale.

MD2020: Well it’s got us, the finest yo Mama smack talkin’ dozens players in the country.

We: That’s very unique indeed.  I don’t think the original story had any dozens players.

MD2020: But it also got the traditional Scrooge like character and a Bob Crutchet and them dreams. Them dreams are something else. Numbers Runners love them dreams.

We: I understand you two tell a story of almost getting lynched in a place called Mud Turtle Mississippi. Can you elaborate more on that? How does that fit into a Christmas story?

MD2020: It fits into a Black Folks Christmas story very nicely. Your stingy butt readers need to buy a copy.

We: Thank you so much Madd and Dog2020. This concludes our interview.

MD2020: Sure does. My drumstick just jumped off my plate is trying to start a fight with a catfish fillet.

Christmas In The Bottoms is coming soon. In the meantime check out these other stories for your Kindle, Nook, or Ipad.


This favorite has been updated and made even funnier than ever...if that was possible

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Christmas In The Bottoms 
(An Excerpt--Dickens'  A Christmas Carol with a Little Soul)

The Bottoms was so poor, they couldn’t even afford a Santa Claus. Once a year a mysterious man descended into the depths of the bottoms and hollered “Ho! Ho!” He was so ugly he frightened the possums to death. They really died. None of that playing dead like they liked to do in stew pots and then jumping out at your ass on the stove. Folk called the mysterious man Creature Claus. Some believed he was either connected with the Nutcracker or connected with Ebenezer’s Pawn shop. His pawn shop was another business Ebenezer ran out of the garage of Glad Wrappings. Folks in the Bottoms tried to pawn anything they could to make ends meet. One diabetic pawned his amputated leg. Ebenezer gave him a nickel a pound for the blackened limb. The next day the restaurant side of Glad Wrappings ran a blue plate special called blackened Lamb Bone Hocks and Sweet Chittlins. How the chitlins got sweet? Well the old Cook got the salt and sugar mixed up and poured a cup of sugar in them steaming funky things. Of course Ebenezer being ever so thrifty, ordered the cook to throw in some stale biscuits and called the dish Chitlin Cobbler. That dish went to the old folks home three days later and killed five seniors. And guess who got the bodies?
As the Christmas Eve day danced merrily around Glad Wrappings Funeral Home and Barbecue Shack, three men not too wise, from the Bottoms Charity and Welfare Committee came to see Ebenezer about a donation to help buy turkey necks and yams for the widows and orphans.
“What they been eatin before Christmas,” Ebenezer asked peering up at the men as he pried the gold out of some dentures.
“Grits and grease,” the men replied in unison.
“What they going to eat after Christmas?”
“Grease and grits.”
“Well for Christmas, they should have a second helping of grease and be quite satisfied. Now get your ass out of my shop, before I slather you in barbecue sauce and  throw you in that crematory.” The men rushed out in a huff. “You the fat one can stay if you like,” Ebenezer called after the one with the rhinoceros butt.

Coming soon to your favorite eReader

Friday, October 12, 2012

Another Installment from my upcoming novel THE ROAD TO ASTROWORLD
Click HERE for Video Link

Chapter 3

 Goose Steps

“Where you going, goose?”
Promise stopped.  She had run through the gates of Paradise Gardens and was walking briskly down Lyons Avenue with her head outstretched. Her Uncle Bobo and other men loitered on the porch of a shotgun shack. The porch sagged like the inside of a boat. Two columns that held up the porch’s roof leaned together. Her uncle rested on his elbows between the posts stroking his chin with one hand as he eyed Promise. He held a Styrofoam cup in his other hand. His pals in frumpy church clothes gathered around him grinning at her. One fellow wore a bus driver’s black coat. His silver badge gleamed like a razor blade.  A bright green bottle sat on the banister shining under the sun’s rays like a jade offering. The men had filled their cups from the bottle. Their eyes were bright and lustful. Promise put her foot on the bottom step. The air was scented with rain, sweat, and the ripe fruity aroma that drifted out of the bottle. She looked at the grinning men and felt big inside. She put her hands on her hips and looked her uncle straight in his reddish eyes.